Captain's Log

October 31, 2002

Why would a man with a great job leave it all behind to go sailing around the world alone?" As his wife, I have often asked myself the same question.  A year and a half year into this project, I am still looking for answers!! However, as a complete non-mariner and simple home loving, terra firma kind of girl without one drop of ‘adventure spirit’ I am slowly getting better at dealing with the situation.

I always knew that Alan wanted to sail around the world, he told me so on our first date some eight years ago.  That desire set him apart from other guys I had met before.  He knew what he wanted and showed me his plan of how he was going to get there.  Funny thing though, that ‘passion’ I found so attractive when we were single, was not so attractive when we were married and I wanted a family and security… We were having a lovely life when Alan announced one day that he wanted to enter this race.  Being a non-sailor I’m very ‘fuzzy’ about the risks involved, and besides the departure date was a long way ahead. No, I was more concerned about our bank balance, funds, and the lack of.  He said he would get sponsorship to help with the costs.  I was worse than skeptical, but one should never underestimate the focus and drive of a single-handed sailor.  Single handed, single minded. 

 The whole project started to snowball when a major sponsor, the Bermuda Telephone Company, signed up, then 18 schools here in Bermuda also expressed a keenness to follow him on his journey via the world wide web through a program set up at the Bermuda Underwater Exploration Institute, thus enabling him to give back something to our island community which has been so supportive. Other companies followed and soon a committee of sponsors was formed and decisions were being made. Obviously at that point there was no turning back for him, and I really should have been absorbed in the project myself, and enthusiastic. …But I wasn’t. No doubt I could talk up a storm with the other spouses, partners and family who know how it feels.  I still viewed the boat as ‘another woman’ and truly resented ‘her’ in our lives. When people asked me for my views on the race I was unable to give them the supportive, politically correct answer they were expecting.

It is easier now.  The race has started. I’m getting used to being ‘the wife of Alan Paris’ when introduced, and can even string a sentence together which is vaguely nautical. I’m no longer panicking about cash flow and house re-possession. The children of Bermuda are watching Alan with a passion and their enthusiasm to learn more is infectious. The people of Brixham, during the UK stopover, treated the competitors and family like superstars, and their old-fashioned values of help and giving was heartwarming in this cynical selfish era.
 
Now that the countdown clock is ticking to the end of the race (joke!) I am much more a part of this project.  I am there to channel Alan’s emails.  I cut and paste all those supportive messages and place them on one document to reduce the download time which is so costly. I also remove those lovely pictures and frilly borders and hopefully firewall the viruses. I also send him articles from the Around Alone website so that he can read about his fellow competitors.

With good fortune and forward planning we now have the money for me to be there at the stopover ports with our son Tucker. It’s not exactly a ‘glamorous jet setting lifestyle’ traveling with a two year old, but we are getting better at it.  Note: my apologies to all who flew on ‘those’ east and westbound BA London/Bermuda flights and my apologies in advance to all the other long haulers when we show up.  With the generosity of a keen sailing boss, Buddy Rego (grovel, grovel) at Rego Realtors, I will still have a job selling real estate when I return after each leg and will have an opportunity to lay the foundations for a solid financial future.
 
As for the day-to-day stuff, I will have emptied the trash 96 times, changed all the light bulbs for the past 2 years – and most of the nappies.   I have dealt with all the jobs Alan used to do, and hopefully will do again. My daily routine is etched out and there is little time to worry about him in between work, parenting, daily chores and the busy social whirl here in Bermuda. Do I miss him?  Bucket loads.  He’s my best friend and he’s not here, but he’ll be back in May. He will swagger in, be the hero, and we will wonder how we coped without him for so long. 

Becky